I’ve provided developmental feedback on more than 100 scripts.
For features and one-hour pilots, my notes typically run 8-20 pages. For shorts and half-hour pilots, my notes run around 5-10 pages.
Following are some examples of notes I’ve given on features.
Dancaster’s Pardon
Creator: Ed Gray
Genre: Historical Action-Adventure
Age rating: 17 and up
Captured and forced into labor in a French castle in the Hundred Years War, John Dancaster, an English archer with a checkered past, escapes when Lucy, his laundress lover, shows him a weakness in the castle wall. She gets caught in the process, and now he must go back inside to save her. Based on a true story.
Read original script.
Read my feedback.
Receiver
Creator: Laura Durkay
Genres: Science Fiction and Fantasy, Action and Adventure
Age rating: 13 and older
Cass Marcel’s slacker life is upended when she begins having terrifying visions. Her quest to discover the truth will unearth a family secret and put her in the crosshairs of a group of evil scientists bent on using her psychic abilities for their own purposes.
Read my feedback.