I’ve provided developmental feedback on more than 70 scripts.

For features and one-hour pilots, my notes typically run 8-20 pages.  For shorts and half-hour pilots, my notes run around 5-10 pages.

Following are some examples of notes I’ve given on features.

Dancaster’s Pardon

Creator:  Ed Gray

Genre:  Historical Action-Adventure

Age rating:  17 and up

Captured and forced into labor in a French castle in the Hundred Years War, John Dancaster, an English archer with a checkered past, escapes when Lucy, his laundress lover, shows him a weakness in the castle wall. She gets caught in the process, and now he must go back inside to save her. Based on a true story.

Read original script.

Read my feedback.

Receiver

Creator: Laura Durkay
Genres: Science Fiction and Fantasy, Action and Adventure
Age rating: 13 and older
Cass Marcel’s slacker life is upended when she begins having terrifying visions. Her quest to discover the truth will unearth a family secret and put her in the crosshairs of a group of evil scientists bent on using her psychic abilities for their own purposes.
Read my feedback
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